Slasher Studios: Top 5 Favorite Slasher Films of the 1980’s

On this week’s episode of Slasher Studios, Kevin Sommerfield and Steve Goltz went over their favorite slasher movies of the 1980s. Movies that set the tone the golden age of the self aware horror film and gave the horror audience something special and unforgettable. Click on the link below to listen to an archive of the show:

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/slasherstudios/2011/11/21/slasher-studios-best-slasher-movies-of-the-1980s

5. Happy Birthday to Me-1981
Virginia “Ginny” Wainwright is a pretty and popular high school senior at Crawford Academy. She is one of her school’s “Top Ten”: an elite clique which comprises the richest, most popular and most snobbish teens at the Academy. The Top Ten meet every night at the Silent Woman Tavern, a pub near Crawford’s campus. One night, en route to the Silent Woman, Top Ten member Bernadette O’Hara is attacked in her car by a killer whose face cannot be seen. Unable to flee, she struggles and then plays dead to catch the Killer off-guard. She fights the killer off, then runs off to get help. Instead, Bernadette finds a student whom she is familiar with. She pleads her ordeal, only to have her throat slit when this student (whom the audience still cannot see) turns out to be the killer.

The Top Ten is briefly concerned when Bernadette fails to show up at the Silent Woman. They promptly get over it, however; the Top Ten have a long history of playing elaborate pranks, both on each other and on the locals. Their grievance with another tavern patron inspires them to pull such a prank: they “borrow” the member’s pet mouse, which they dunk into the lodger’s beer, all the while pretending to apologize for their rudeness. The lodger discovers the mouse; mayhem ensues, and the Top Ten flee the scene.

En route back home, the Top Ten see a drawbridge going up and decide to play a game of chicken: all cars in the game must make it across before the bridge is completely raised (to allow the passing of ferrys). A protesting Ginny is shoved into a car by fellow Top Ten member Ann Thomerson. Every car jumps the drawbridge save one. After the car stops Ginny runs from the vehicle into the darkness home. On the way home she stops by her mother’s grave to tell her she’s popular and hangs out with the Top Ten all the time. Ginny is confronted by her father about coming home after her curfew. Unbeknownst to either of them, somebody has followed her home. Will she be able to save her self or her friends before they fall prey to the top 10 curse?

“Happy Birthday to Me” is preposterous, over-the-top, and silly. A blend of all of the 80’s excesses rolled into one far too long film (outside of the “Scream franchise” NO horror movie should run upwards of two hours). Nonetheless, “Birthday” works. Maybe it is the silly deaths (gotta love the shish-ka-bob to the mouth or the weights to the crotch) or maybe its the outlandish ending that doesn’t even try to make any sense whatsoever. Whatever it is, this movie put a blood red smile across my face for the majority of its running time. Great atmosphere, steady cinematography, and a capable cast also help matters considerably. I can’t say this is a great movie by any stretch of the imagination but if you are looking for a fine, fun 80’s slasher, this is definitely one of the better ones.

4. Friday the 13th-1980
Looking at Friday the 13th, it’s easy to see why the film was so controversial. Many feminist groups were so angered by these types of movies in the 1980’s. After all, aren’t these films merely an excuse to show a topless girl running through the woods waiting to get impaled on a killer’s “long blade”? The references to death and sex aren’t exactly subtle. As Going to Pieces: The Rise and Fall of the Slasher Film states, many feminists were downright disgusted by Friday the 13th finding it repulsive and borderline offensive that every female in the film, with the exception of the “final girl” (which I will go into detail on later), is killed because of her sexual experience and independence. What kind of message does this send to the female youth of America? Stay subservient to your male partner and everything will end up being okay for you?

Does Friday the 13th add to the “media’s representation of women as passive, dependent on men, or objects of desire” as many feminist film critics have stated? Well, that is left up to debate. For example, a select group of feminists actually applauded this film and other slasher films like it. In fact, while most feminists theorists label the horror film as a “male-driven/male-centered genre”, feminist critics like Carol Clover pointed out that in most horror films, especially in horror films like the Friday the 13th series, the audience, male and female, is structurally ‘forced’ to identify with the “innovative and resourceful young female” (“the final girl” as described earlier) who survives the killer’s attack and usually ends the threat. She argues that “while the killer’s subjective point of view may be male within the narrative, even the male viewer is still rooting for the “final girl” to overcome the killer.”

Nonetheless, many key film critics disagreed with the argument that horror films like Friday the 13th are “pro-feminist.” In 1981, Roger Ebert, film critic for the Chicago Sun-Times, launched a “famous diatribe against the subjective point-of-view killing mechanism” of the slasher film which, as he argued, “placed viewers in the position of ‘seeing as’ and, therefore, ‘identifying with’ the maniacal killers.” Nevertheless, many filmmakers and other critics disagreed with the “simplistic association of subjective point of view shooting with audience identification by believing in point-of-view cutting as a stronger way of achieving audience identification with a character.” If anything, it could be argued that this point-of-view shooting makes horror films forces the audience to identify with the female protagonist that much more. Or, as feminist critic Clover calls it, “masochistic rather than sadistic.”

Looking at Friday the 13th, it is not hard not to see why the criticisms were made. The film is poorly acted, poorly directed on a minimal budget with a core story that, at best, rips off the Halloween franchise frame by frame. However, this would be avoiding the very essence of why these horror films are so popular. People don’t go to Friday the 13th expecting a great, cinematic movie going experience; they are going to Friday the 13th to have fun. It can be argued that films like Friday the 13th are escapist entertainment at their very best. There is nothing fundamentally great about these films but that’s really the point. They are fun, they are scary (if, by today’s standards, cheesy and tame), and they are very entertaining.

The feminist critics that attack these films don’t seem to see the power these films contain. Here, in Friday the 13th, is a young woman who must put all the pieces of the mystery everything together and save her friends in order to survive the night. And survive she does, something that not a single other male does in the course of the film. In fact, looking at the series as a whole, it takes the franchise until Part 4 before it even allows a male to survive in the end. It should come as no surprise that this male is survived with a female who, once again, was forced to save the day on her own. Whereas in other film genres, such as romantic comedies and dramas, where females are pushed aside to “girlfriend support” roles, Friday the 13th tries to do something different with gender roles by making the males the “supportive partner” and forcing the young female teenager to go take charge and same the day. In essence, the female in this film, as in many other horror films, is the hero.

3. April Fools Day-1986

In the 1980’s, if there was a holiday, there was a horror movie. Christmas got “Silent Night, Deadly Night” and “Black Christmas”, prom got “Prom Night”, birthdays got “Happy Birthday to Me”, Graduation Day got…umm…”Graduation Day”, New Years Eve got “New Years Evil”, and Halloween got…umm….”Halloween”. Okay, so creativity was never a strong suit of the slasher genre. My favorite slasher holiday guilty pleasure will be the one I’ll be watching in less than 12 hours. “April Fools Day”. Seriously, this movie has everything. Amy Steel from “Friday the 13th: Part 2”? Check! Deborah Foreman from the criminally underrated “Waxwork”. Check! The overgrown bully from “Back to the Future”? Check! A surprise twist ending? Double check! C’mon, look at the above poster and tell me that you don’t instantly fall in love…

The plot is quite simple. A group of eight college friends (each more annoying than the next) gather together at an island mansion belonging to heiress Muffy St. John to celebrate their final year of school. They soon discover that each has a hidden secret from their past which is revealed, and soon after, they turn up dead. Yet, are they really dead? Or is it just part of some very real and cruel April Fool’s jokes? The hostess, Muffy, is the only one who apparently knows what’s going on. But then again, is it really her doing the killing? Fun from beginning to end. Speaking of end, don’t let anyone spoil the final surprise for you!

2. The Burning-1981
In a summer camp named “Camp Blackfoot”, a group of boys are planning to pull a prank on the weird, alcoholic, masochistic caretaker, Cropsy, during the middle of the night. They sneak into his cabin and set a rotting skull on fire, only to have Cropsy wake up and accidentally knock the skull onto his gas tank, causing flames to spread all over the cabin. The horrified boys then watch as Cropsy, engulfed in flames, stumbles out and falls down a ravine into a river, putting out the flames. Five years later, Cropsy is released from hospital, wearing a heavy coat, sunglasses and hat to hide his deformities. Out of rage, he murders a female prostitute. He then sets out to another summer camp named “Camp Stonewater”.

The camp is populated with many characters, who are each going through their own situations: Eddy wants to get it on with the shy hottie Karen, Todd struggles as head counselor and seeks to find time to be with his girlfriend Michelle, eccentric and shy Alfred is trying to make friends with Dave, Woodstock and Fish, who are all trying to get back at cocky, cruel Glazer, who lusts for cutie Sally.

Cropsy makes it to the camp as everyone is playing baseball, and almost kills a female camper, but hesitates too long. The next morning, Sally goes to take a shower, senses that someone is inside the showers, and pulls back the curtain, exposing a shocked Alfred, who runs out of the shower. Sally’s screams bring Karen, Michelle, Todd and Eddy, who catch Alfred, who Michelle insists should be thrown out, but Todd takes him to have a stern talking-to instead. During this conversation, Todd learns that Alfred does not have any friends, and was just trying to pull a prank on Sally to make her laugh. After the discussion, Glazer attacks Alfred and warns him to stay away from Sally, but Todd breaks them up, telling Glazer to cool off, and lets Alfred go and apologize to Sally.

Night rolls around, and Alfred spots Cropsy outside his window, but no one believes him, so he, Dave, Fish, and Woodstock go to the mess hall with everyone else. While everyone is eating, Karen tells Michelle that she and Eddy are going to spend the night together, and that she should be back before morning. After supper, everyone then goes to sleep, except for Karen and Eddy who sneak off into the woods by another lake, to skinny-dip. They begin to fool around in the lake, while someone takes Karen’s clothes. Just as Eddy and Karen are about to have sex, Karen decides she’s not ready, upsetting Eddy who tries to force himself on her, making her slap him. Eddy is outraged and orders her to leave him, which she does, only to discover that her clothes have been strewn all over the woods. She begins to collect them all, until she reaches her last article of clothing on a tree, where she is grabbed by Cropsy and has her throat viciously slashed. And Cropsy is just getting started….

A fun “Friday the 13th” rip-off that has some great death scenes and a memorable villain (Crospey has been and will always be freaky as hell. The problem with “The Burning”? Too many damn characters. So many characters in fact that none of them really leave an impression so that you don’t care who lives and who dies. This is a fun movie, don’t get me wrong, but I always thought that it could be a better movie than what it is. So, why is it one of my favorite slashers of the 1980’s? Simple. The deaths. And I do mean the deaths. The deaths in this splatter film have to be seen to be believed. Everything that you would want to see with garden sheers to nubile teens are done to extraordinary effect. Credit Tom Savini who does some of his best make up work to date with this fun little slasher title. Looking for a gory good time? Make a date with “The Burning”.

1. A Nightmare on Elm Street-1984
Wes Craven’s definitive classic. Bet you can’t guess what it is. A Nightmare on Elm Street is an unbelievably original, terrifingly realistic, and overall terrifying that, despite a weak ending, is one of the best horror flicks of the quarter of a century. The film deals with a deceased child molester who now lives only through the dreams of the children of those who burned him alive. Robert Englund is truly frightening as Freddy Krueger. Wes Craven delivers a surprising amount of tension that still holds up today.

Nancy is having nightmares about a frightening, badly-scarred figure who wears a glove with razor-sharp “finger knives”. She soon discovers that her friends are having similar dreams. When the kids begin to die, Nancy realizes that she must stay awake to survive. Uncovering the secret identity of the dream killer and his connection with the children of Elm Street, the girl plots to draw him out into the real world.

The film goes for suspense, drama, and gore and delivers for the most part. Heather Langenkamp gives a very solid performance as Nancy Thompson, the young woman is the “leader” among her friends and the only one who may get out alive. Forget about Jamie Lee Curtis’ whimpering performance in “Halloween”. Here Langenkamp is the real deal and she kicks ass. A great horror film that still delivers today. Look for a young Johnny Depp who, arguably, has the best death scene in the flick.

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Happy Halloween from Slasher Studios!

Happy Halloween everyone! Hope everyone has had their fill of horror movies and pumpkin spice coffee to last a lifetime. But, really, how can you just love the horror genre for just one month? Horror is the gift that just keeps on giving. Who doesn’t love a good death and a good scare to awaken the senses? Today, on this very special Halloween, I would like to take a little about my favorite kind of horror movie. The slasher film. Big surprise, huh?

Sometimes it’s hard being a slasher fan. Even among horror fans, slasher movies are considered to be the bottom of the barrel of horror movies. The general consensus is that it doesn’t take much effort to make a slasher movie. What do you need? A final girl, a killer with a mask, and a bunch of nubile teens ready to get hacked up? Well, I would argue that slasher films are something more than that. Something special. Something unique. In the genre of horror movies, slasher films are the “comfort food”. The double cheeseburger from McDonalds or that stuffed crust pizza that you just have to have from Pizza Hut. Are they nutritious? No, not in the least. But they serve a special craving that nothing else will fill. I’m glad to have you, readers of this website to share in my love of this guilty pleasure. May there be many, many years of delicious slasher movies to come.

So a big Happy Halloween from all of us here at Slasher Studios to slasher fans everywhere! Come out of the closet and show your love for both the subgenre that no one wants to admit to as well as the best holiday a horror fan could ask for!

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Why Are Zombies Invading Our Culture?

Not just for Halloween: CSUEB professor explains why zombies are invading our culture. Zombies are for kids and Halloween, right? Why, then, are zombies so prevalent in today’s society?

Terms like “zombie billing,” “zombie housing,” and “zombie economy” are frequently used when describing our nation’s economic situation. The Walking Dead is a ratings phenomenon for the AMC network and Dead Island is a popular video game.

Christopher Moreman, assistant professor of philosophy at California State University, East Bay, connects the dots of the undead’s popularity from zombie’s origins in Haitian folklore through the 1960s’ countercultural revolution to inclusion in current business vernacular. Zombie themes have historically been associated with racism, slavery and oppression. Moreman says that today’s usage is tied to our modern dissatisfaction with capitalism, globalism and materialism.

Moreman publishes about this trend in two new books, “Zombies Are Us: Essays on the Humanity of the Walking Dead” (McFarland, 2011) and “Race, Oppression and the Zombie: Essays on Cross-Cultural Appropriations of the Caribbean Tradition” (McFarland, 2011).

Moreman is an expert in comparative religions, especially as related to popular culture. Other published work and presentations by Moreman include: “Devil Music and the Great Beast: Ozzy Osbourne, Aleister Crowley, and the Christian Right,” (2003); “Dharma of the Living Dead: A Meditation on the Meaning of the Hollywood Zombie,” (2010); “Let this Hell be our Heaven: Richard Matheson’s Spirituality and its Hollywood Distortions,” (2012); and “The Symbolic Connection between Birds and Spirits of the Dead” (presentation 2004).

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October Horror Challenge: Day 17: “Black Christmas”

Forget about the 2006 version, THIS movie is where the terror really started. It’s time for Christmas break, and the sorority sisters make plans for the holiday, but the strange anonymous phone calls are beginning to put them on edge. When Clare disappears, they contact the police, who don’t express much concern. Meanwhile Jess is planning to get an abortion, but boyfriend Peter is very much against it. The police finally begin to get concerned when a 13-year-old girl is found dead in the park. They set up a wiretap to the sorority house, but will they be in time to prevent a sorority girl attrition problem?

“Black Christmas” is that rare horror movie that gets everything right. This is a movie that just oozes atmosphere. Every frame is dripping with dread and setting the film on the Christmas just adds to the excitement of it all. Not only this but the film is also scary as hell with some excellent performances and an ending that is sure to give every horror fan chills. What is the most incredible aspect of this groundbreaking slasher film? Throughout the entire film, we see various sorority girls getting hacked to death and receiving strange telephone calls. What we don’t see is our psycho, Billy. No motive, no reason, no face, no man..Billy could be anyone of us. If that doesn’t make a true psycho, I really don’t know what does.

“Black Christmas” is quite simply the best horror movie I’ve ever seen. Some give the credit to “Halloween” to being the first real American slasher film but that simply is not fair. “Black Christmas” did it first and did it better. It is the grandmother of the slasher film, four years before “Halloween”. “Black Christmas’” power is impossible to deny; its characters are compelling, the imagery poignant, and the acting top-notch. If you haven’t seen it yet, you are in for one scary “Christmas” treat.

To order: Black Christmas (Special Edition)

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R.I.P. David Hess

David Hess, best known to horror fans as “Krug Stillo” in Wes Craven’s infamous debut “The Last House on the Left”, and star of “House on the Edge of the Park” and “Swamp Thing”, has passed away today. He was 69.

His children updated his Facebook page today with the following statement:
“It is with great sadness that we have said our last goodbyes to our beloved dad and friend to all. David passed away peacefully last night. The Mad Hessian lives on in his family, friends, and all of his devoted fans. Sing a song in celebration of his life.”

More information forthcoming as details are released.

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October Horror Challenge: Day 6: “Hell Night”

“Hell Night” beings with a massive Halloween style college party, Peter Bennett, the president of the Alpha Sigma Rho fraternity, decides to make four pledges: Marti, Jeff, Seth, and Denise told to stay at the historic Garth Manor until dawn on hell night as part of their initiation. Peter and a group of others, along with his friends Scott and May, bring everyone together and tells them about the jaded history of the estate as they walk while he leads them. Twelve years prior, Raymond Garth strangled his wife Lillian to death and then proceeded to murder three of his children (Morris, Suzanne, and Margaret due to them having decayed severe and deformities). After the carnage, Raymond hanged himself. However, police never found the body of the youngest Garth child, Andrew. Legend has it, Andrew witnessed the murder of his entire family and may still be living within Garth Manor.

Today I would like to celebrate one of my favorite early 80’s slashers: “Hell Night”. For some reason, “Hell Night” just never received the respect that it so richly deserved when it opened in 1981. Audiences had grown tired of college style slashers and, let’s face it, Jamie Lee Curtis was the new Linda Blair. Nonetheless, I find “Hell Night” to be a richly atmospheric (I love Gothic style horror films and the house portrayed here is beautifully lit and decorated) and solidly acted (even if Blair isn’t given much to do in the second act). Also, let us all admit one thing…the early 1980’s were the only time in our society where the boys were prettier than the girls. Case in point..the picture below. I rest my case.

Facts about “Hell Night”:
* Filming Hell Night took only 40 days. The majority of the movie was shot in three locations: The outside of Garth Manor was shot at a mansion in Redlands, California. (The Kimberly Crest mansion was converted from a private residence to a museum shortly after filming was completed.) The hedge maze was brought in as there was no actual garden maze on the mansion property. The inside of Garth Manor was filmed in a residential home in Pasadena, California. The frat party was filmed in an apartment lobby in Los Angeles, California. The many underground tunnels filmed in the movie were actually no more than two corridors in which the director had the actors running repeatedly through from different angles.

* For the scene where Jeff is thrown down a flight of stairs and hurt his leg, there was not a lot of acting involved. In reality, actor Peter Barton had really hurt himself and most of his limping was due to being in real physical pain.

* Interestingly, the two actors who portrayed the killers are not listed anywhere in the credits, and their real names remain a mystery. However, on the DVD commentary, it is noted that one of them passed away shortly after the release of the film.

* This review is part of the wonderful Stacie Ponder Final Girl Film Club. Rock on Stacie! Also, if you haven’t done so already make sure to go out and buy her book: Slashers 101.

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31 Days of Horror Halloween Challenge

Last year, I decided to test myself and watch a horror movie every night for the entire month of October. By the end, I was a little dazed and disoriented but came out of the experiment just fine and was ready to do the whole thing all over again. With only a few days until October officially starts, I have posted my list below of the horror films that I will watch every day for the entire month. Nothing says fall like leaves changing color and blood splattered slasher movies. For every movie that I have not yet reviewed, I will post a new review for that film either that night or the next morning. Well, my fellow slasher fans, here is my list:

October 1st-Scream
October 2nd-Scream 2
October 3rd-Scream 3
October 4th-Scream 4 (Release Date)
October 5th-Slumber Party Massacre
October 6th-Slumber Party Massacre 2
October 7th-Slumber Party Massacre 3
October 8th-The People Under the Stairs
October 9th-Deadly Friend
October 10th-The Burning
October 11th-Friday the 13th (1980)
October 12th-Mother’s Day
October 13th-The Convent
October 14th-Pumpkinhead
October 15th-Night of the Demons
October 16th-Sleepaway Camp
October 17th-Sleepaway Camp 2: Unhappy Campers
October 18th-Sleepaway Camp 3: Teenage Wasteland
October 19th-Silent Night Deadly Night
October 20th-Black Christmas (1974)
October 21st-Black Christmas (2005)
October 22nd-Blood Sisters
October 23rd-Halloween (1978)
October 24th-Halloween (2007)
October 25th-Curtains
October 26th-Puppet Master
October 27th-Dolls
October 28th-Child’s Play
October 29th-Creepshow
October 30th-Creepshow II
October 31st-Trick r Treat

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“Children of the Corn: Genesis”: The Sequel Nobody Asked For

Some series just won’t die, no matter how much you beg them to. Dimension Extreme’s “Children of the Corn: Genesis”, the eighth film in the franchise that stems from the Stephen king story, is now on VOD/DVD/Blu-ray and in limited release (Does one theater for one day count as limited release?).

Directed by Joel Soisson and starring Barbara Nedeljakova, Billy Drago, and Kelen Coleman, “Tim and Allie seek shelter in a remote desert compound after becoming lost and stranded. A strange Manson-like character, Preacher, reluctantly allows them inside with strict orders to be gone by morning and not wander “where you are not invited.” At first, Preacher and his mail-order wife Oksana deny the faint screams and cries that emanate from one of the crumbling outbuildings. When Allie sneaks outside to investigate, she discovers that she and Tim have stumbled onto a bizarre cult worshiping an entity that may – or may not – dwell inside a haunted little boy.”

Nonetheless, the reviews have been surprisingly solid for this late edition to the series so maybe there is still some fun to be had. To order “Children Of The Corn: Genesis” from Amazon: Children Of The Corn: Genesis

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“Nightmare on Elm Street” Sequel Officially Dead

Is it the end for Freddy? Brad Fuller, executive producer at Platinum Dunes took some time over the weekend to share some exclusive updates on the upcoming sequel to the “Nightmare on Elm Street” remake. The remake opened last spring to bad reviews but a solid, if unspectacular, box office take of $63M. Despite various other rumors, Fuller says that at this time there are no plans for a sequel tweeting;

“Lots of rumors out there. I want to set the record straight on freddy and Jason. First, let’s talk Jason. Shannon and Swift wrote a great script. We are ready to go, when new line is ready. But as of yet, they are not ready. As for Freddy, as far as I know, there isn’t even talk of writing another script.”

So it looks like we might have some new Jason coming our way the near future but it appears that Freddy is dead and buried…for now.

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The Top 7 Most Annoying Horror Characters of All Time

You are sitting down watching a great horror movie and having a good time when, all of a sudden, your amusement is cut short. THAT character walks on to the screen. The character that is so annoying and so obnoxious that you just can’t wait for them to die. You pray for a slow painful death to find them – and when it finally happens, you feel the damn good as if you’ve done it yourself. The following are our top 7 most annoying horror movie characters.

7. Tina-“Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers”
This movie has many problems. The movie’s biggest problem? Killing off Rachel from Part 4 and replacing her with this idiot. Tina is one of the stupidest characters to ever hit the silver screen. She makes every mistake in the book. She’s an idiot, she drinks, and she has sex. Yet, somehow we are supposed to relate to her as a final girl? Give me a fucking break. Nothing about Tina is remotely likable and you count down the minutes until she dies. The only good news? She is one of the few final girls to be killed. Thank God for little favors.

6. Titus-“I Still Know What You Did Last Summer”
Much like “Halloween 5”, this movie takes everything that works about the previous installment and beats it into the bloody ground. The worst offender in this movie is Titus played by an annoyingly over-the-top Jack Black (is there any other kind of Jack Black?). A Jamaican, fat, pot smoking hippie? No thank you. Why can’t there be a horror movie in which an overweight character acts reasonably and isn’t there for some dumb comic relief. Titus sure isn’t that character and this movie definitely isn’t that movie.

5. Carly- “Wrong Turn”
The annoying best friend. Where would the horror genre be without it? Nonetheless, Carly is the worst of the worst. Whiny and shrill when she should be smart and compassionate, this is just a useless character that you can’t wait until she dies. This is the kind of character whose boyfriend gives up his own life so she can live and all she can do is whine and cry about it. She’s given a great death scene but it comes at least a half an hour too late into the film. Ugh.

4. Tracy-“Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare”
Let us be honest here, this entire cast could probably compete for a spot on this list. They are all so incredibly annoying that you wish they would all fall asleep so Freddy could start hacking them up before the opening credits are even over. Tracy though is the worst of the worst. She screams out every line, barks out orders, and is just generally nails-on-the-chalkboard annoying. The fact that she DOESN’T die only adds insult to injury. Double ugh.

3. Shelly-“Friday the 13th: Part III”
Is there anything worse than the “funny” best friend? Shelly proves to me that the answer is probably no. This is one sad sack of a character. A character that thinks it would be funny to act as he was dead right after several murders have happened and a character that does just about every stupid move possible. Just thinking about the scene with Shelly and the bikers makes me cringe. Poor Vera. If someone tried to set me up with Shelly I would kill myself before Jason ever got the chance.

2. Franklin-“Texas Chainsaw Massacre”
I have nothing against overweight people. It appears to be that horror writers must as Franklin is the fourth of the seven characters on this list that could be described as fat and obnoxious. In a wheelchair, all Franklin can do is bark out orders and whine and cry about how much his life sucks and how much he hates his friends. It’s painful to watch and Franklin is a character that deserves a slow, painful death.

1. Alan- “Return to Sleepaway Camp”
The worst of the worst. Alan is the kind of character that makes you cringe. He is the kind of person that you could cross the street to avoid. Normally you feel bad for the characters in horror movies that get made fun of but here you feel as if Alan got off easy. That and the fact that Alan is supposed to be the hero of this piece and is our main character? Thank you Alan for ruining an entire film and a franchise that horror audiences waited a decade to return.

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